Christmas Eve, 2023. I both like and dislike this time of year: holiday hustle and bustle and cold weather aside, I find the city I live to be slightly depressing this time of year. The trees are empty, the trash feels more visible and somehow persistent, and the darker days have me with less desire to leave my home. What I really love about the end of the year is reflecting on the year that was, preparing for the start of a new one, releasing what didn’t work, and inviting in new intentions. This is the time when I like to pour over my journal, reliving some really good days and some not so good ones, embodying the person I was only a few months ago, the person who has already grown beyond that journal entry.

As a side note, doing this was what helped me see a very specific pattern around my drinking — for at least the two years before I finally quit, I had several journal entries (and at least two New Year intentions) to drink less. (It had never occurred to me I could just… stop. That took a bit more learning and growing.)

But back to this year. Like every year, I can easily rattle off so many things I am grateful for. Every year since turning 31 (my year of chaaaange) seems to have gotten better, and this year I can see how everything I have worked for since then has come to pass. It’s really quite incredible what focused attention can do.

What has been really great about this year:

• Becoming pregnant (absolutely the best thing to happen this year)

• Leaving our first home and moving into a new home with my husband, the one that meets everything I had dreamed of: lots of light, a big kitchen, room for us to grow, in a neighborhood I can walk around in.

• Deciding (affirmatively, after years of waffling) that Philadelphia is our home, for now and the foreseeable future, and being perfectly content with that decision

• Being sober, having a year of sober first (more to come on that), and never once missing or desiring alcohol

• Going deeper into my yoga practice and becoming a certified yoga teacher

• Succeeding in my career in unexpected ways, and not being bored by it (huge for me, I have never stayed with one job for longer than 2.5 years)

• Reading a ton of books

• Traveling, this year to LA, Italy, Chicago, Nashville, and Utah

• Letting myself rest without guilt

• Listening to my body and changing my diet

• Re-affirming my non-negotiables (more to come on that, too)

What has been not so great about this year:

• The emotional ups and downs of trying to become pregnant

• Getting very sick in Italy and ruining at least a few days of a yoga retreat

• Becoming a landlord, and as a precursor, the stress of being unable to sell our first home

• Experiencing my first real bike accident

• Falling (slightly) out of my yoga practice, but also beginning to find my way back in

All in all, a good year. A great year, even. Maybe it’s sobriety finally allowing me to feel all the feelings, but I do have this undying sense that I am in my best years, with more amazing experiences just to come. Next year will bring the birth of our first child, and all of the absolute joy and tears and messiness that comes with it. I can’t even imagine it, and yet, I can barely wait.

A wonderful New Year to everyone out there. I hope you can embrace whatever comes — the beautiful, the difficult, and absolutely everything in between.